Does the Patriarchy system promote domestic violence?
By Kasak Shirotriya

Kavya was on cloud nine as she was getting married. Lots of thoughts were running in her mind. She was nervous about her new journey of life which was about to start. Tying the knot is not an easy task in anyone’s life. It is not just about a piece of paper or taking  vows round the fire . It is a union of two people .

Kavya’s fiancée , Shreyash  was at the managerial post in some big MNC . She was having an arranged marriage. Shreyash was  a simple, sweet and calm guy. But Kavya liked his simplicity the most. On the day of her marriage she was experiencing a whirlwind of conflicting emotions . She was so overwhelmed that it all seemed unreal , as if she was dreaming about her prince groom. For the first few months  everything was really nice, Shreyash was very caring , polite and humble. But after some time , Shreyash started abusing her both physically and mentally  . Her husband used to beat her for no reason. When her prince charming turned into a monster , she didn’t come to know. All her dreams about marriage were shattered and turned into a nightmare. This was her everyday story . Being in a relationship with him was like locked up in a prison , being tied and unable to speak.

So, this was the story of Kavya , hard to believe right ? But is this yours story too? It will be more hard to believe that this is the story of almost every third married women in India.

According to National Family Health Survey   released by the Union Health Ministry , 27 per cent of women have experienced physical violence since the age of 15. Around 31 percent of married woman have experienced physical , sexual or emotional violence by their spouses.

Recently , a video has been viral on social media , in which a lady is forced to took off her clothes by her husband. And the most shameless thing is that the husband has himself shoot the video and his child was also sitting beside him at that time. In the video , the lady could not stop sobbing  and was requesting him to not to do that  and showing her bruises all over body.

The question is why a woman is always seen as a sex object or a slave. Marriage is not about just living together , but it is also about care, love and respect . You are married to a woman , you are a husband now , but it doesn’t gives you authority to control her life . Marriage doesn’t gives you license to abuse her , to molest her physically or mentally. It’s just the orthodox and stereotype thinking of the society that women are always weaker than men , women are always to be controlled. But again the question arises here , From where this thinking has arrived ? Why men think that it is their birth right to abuse a woman .It is often a pride for a husband to beat her wife. We don’t need to go far  in search for our answer. The answer is patriarchy. Yes. Patriarchy system directly or indirectly shows that women have no identity at all.

For example , if a girl is born , then till the day she gets married,she uses her father’s name and after marriage, she uses her husband’s name.  A girl is always told that one day you have to get married. Often husbands are called “pati parmeshwar” which says our husband is our god. It’s just the fault of patriarchy thinking which shows women are weaker than the men. It is but obvious that we always try to control those people are weaker than us. Similarly , men think that women are weaker that’s why they try to control them.

Just like Kavya there are so many who are experiencing the same story everyday  . They are being molested, abused, beaten by their husband .  We don’t need to change the thinking of women. But it’s the high time to remove this orthodox thinking from our society to some extent. Men also need to understand, that your partner is not your slave. Nobody is weaker or stronger . A relationship is like two wheels of a cycle, if one wheel is damaged so the cycle can’t be used. It’s just about the maintaining the balance between the two. Need is to change this old concept of patriarchy system which has given the main problem of domestic violence.